My name is Nicole and I am sixteen years old. Its a random Sunday afternoon and I’m not entirely sure how the idea of starting a blog came about but it did so here I am. I guess I decided to see if this blog would be a good coping mechanism for me to jot my thoughts down. See I suffer from depression and anxiety and I go to a boarding school where I try to be as busy as possible to distract myself from being homesick and sad. It works and I see a lot of improvement in my mental health but everyone has their ups and downs and their blips and obstacles in their way. I take A Levels in which I study English, RS and History. I should be doing my history homework right now (oops). I’m quite open about my depression. I think its something that shaped me to who I am today as a person and if you don’t know that about me, you don’t know me at all. My depression came when I was 13 years old and just started IGCSEs (what a great time, I know) and I had to skip school a lot because I physically couldn’t cope going to a school where I felt alone and unhappy. I had friends but they were superficial and immature. I didn’t like to be around them but they were all I had. It was around that time I decided I wanted to go to boarding school after my IGCSEs and started my process of applying to schools in the UK. I went to my psychiatrist weekly and a therapist every fortnight. After around a month I started going to school my regularly and after 6 months, I stopped seeing my therapist and had less regular visits to my psychiatrist. Lets skip the boring shit and flash forward to the now.
I am now in the UK, happy and cut off all my friends from home. I found out before I left that the one person I depended on the most made fun of me about my instagram saying I had a lot of ‘suicidal shit’ on it. Thanks Claire you were great. However, I don’t dwell on that stuff anymore because I am so so happy here in my new school. I have new friends, became an extrovert and has found confidence I didn’t know I possessed. I suppose I’m rushing this blog post because I’m quite anxious to start my prep for history but I will make another post about my depression in depth. I am doing this to help others who need support because I am here and I am support. I want to help. It gets better. It did for me. Keep fighting, this is a battle you won’t lose. I swear.
Until next time,